Check to see if UR in a toxic relationship
No relationship is picture-perfect, there are many elements which cause distance, disrespect and abuse even in a loving relationship. Here are five signs that tell you if UR in a toxic relationship. A lot of people feel embarrassed to get marriage counselling. It's absolutely fine! Try to work things out as much as you can. Set UR priorities, take drastic decisions keeping yourself and UR loved ones in mind. Happiness is a state of mind that only U R responsible for.
01
Belittlement
This can cause bitterness and constant belittling can cause mental trauma. This can happen without realizing. Belittlement stems from insecurity. If you or UR partner is insecure, it's time to address the issue.
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02
Mental and physical abuse
Any kind of abuse is a clear indicator that shows UR partner you are unhappy or mentally troubled, which causes them to lash out. In many cases, people regret lashing out mentally & physically. If it happens rarely then forgive, if it occurs regularly seek external help immediately.
03
Infidelity
This can be of different kinds, it can be emotional or physical. One can’t blame anyone for cheating. It depends on the circumstance if the partner is regretful & willing to change its worth forgiving. If the partner tries to cover it up, it leads to trust issues. It’s all about how you feel, UR values and the situation UR in. A relationship should make you feel safe and secure more than happy. So choose wisely.
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04
Lack of trust or respect
No respect or trust can make any relationship stagnant just like a broken-down car. Respect in a relationship is like peanut butter and jelly; they taste amazing when they are together in a sandwich. Respect stems from UR upbringing and personality. If you were brought up in an atmosphere that didn’t respect women, you can carry the same to UR relationship.
05
No communication
Little or no communication causes never-ending conflicts and misunderstandings. Communicating helps you and UR partner understand each other's genuine emotions. Set an exclusive date night once a month to discuss each other’s issues and problems. Feel free to do this exercise more often if required. The golden rule of this exercise is to solve issues and not repeat them again. Having said that habits take a while to change, give people time and understand their perspectives before accusing.
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What’s The Difference Between A Friend, A Therapist And A Guru?
At different points in our lives, we have needed a friend, a therapist, and a mentor to push us through the difficulties, share our happiness and guide us to a better tomorrow. However, they are all different and play different roles in our lives. So, what is the real difference between them? One of the easiest ways to find that out is to as these simple questions, “What role does this person play? To what end? For how long?” If you can get answers to these, you can very well understand each of them and move ahead in life. Friend A friend is supposed to take your side. They need to have unconditional love for you, where right or wrong shouldn’t matter. They are someone who stand by you, take your side and make sure that they are there for in every situation. A friend is someone you can partly take for granted as well because they have your interest in the place. They are neither certified nor are trained practitioners, but the advice that they give you are out of the shared experience of your lives. You also need to set some boundaries and rules, and you should choose a minimum of 5 people who will always be by your side for the rest of your life. You have to cultivate the sort of friendship from your school or college days, where you spend time with them, understand and make a comfort zone around them. You have to make sure that these relations are platonic, and you do not reach any uncomfortable situation in these relationships. You should also let your parents or partners or sibling know about your friends. As a matter of fact, these friends could include your partner or siblings who are in this “5 friends” relationship with you. Friendship is sacred as the rules of friendship are strong. They include, • Sticking by you Being available for you • Understanding your needs • Syncing and growing together • Building a relationship together As friends, you need to have a positive influence on each other, rather than draining each other out. This is what a friend should be. Therapist A therapist is a trained professional who you seek for help. Therapists are not supposed to be judgemental. By practice, they are certified professionals who do not have to judge you and listen to you. Their job is to teach you how to deal or cope up with the urgent situation that you are facing. When a therapist teaches you how to deal with a situation, you will learn to deal with more similar situations or even worse in a better manner. Some of us have deep-rooted issues, and they don’t know who to speak with. That’s where a therapist comes in to help you figure the problem and deal with it in a better manner. Therapists also prescribe medication, as it is essential for you to heal with medication. They also prescribe alternative therapies. Before going to a therapist, you must do your homework. You must understand what you are visiting the therapist for and what you want out of it. Don’t go with high expectations and understand your needs before visiting a therapist, as they are expensive. So choose them wisely, closer to home, within your budget, and can give your benefits out of those therapy sessions. Guru/Mentor A guru or mentor is a person who you seek advice from at different times of your life, depending on what you need. Say you want to start a new business, it is this guru or mentor who will help you move in the right direction. These people give you advice. You can look at their life and experiences and gain from them. Depending on what you want to achieve in life, you have to choose your mentor. That’s the essential part of the process. It is also crucial to choose a set of mentors. Make sure that you learn your lessons from them before moving on to the next one. It will lead to confusion where you might learn anything even with the best of help. Dive deeper into your questions. If you can get a personal session with your guru, then there is nothing better. Or else, you can keep following them on their website or YouTube channels. Study their lives and understand their successes. Take what you feel will help you grow. This is the difference between a friend, a therapist and a mentor or guru. Always remember that all three are your well-wishers, and you need to have them all in your life. Choose who you want to, to succeed in life. And segregate them in different compartments, which will help you become a better person in life.
Emotional Intelligence: Escaping The Matrix Of Fear
For many young people, the COVID virus outbreak will bring their first experience of fear and anxiety as a pervasive mood. As a society we are afraid of fear, and most of the time we can turn our backs on it. But this kind of denial is unworkable in a crisis. As bad news mounts daily and society becomes ever more anxious, countless people become enmeshed in the matrix of fear without knowing how to escape. Social forces can drive you to participate in the matrix of fear, but society cannot get you out of it. Escape is something each person must confront on their own. I believe that freeing yourself from fear and anxiety is possible. More than that, you can learn how to be free of fear long after the COVID crisis has passed. The key is to cultivate emotional intelligence. The term had a burst of attention some years ago, but the value of emotional intelligence never changes, and when you focus on it, you will achieve something worthwhile for life. Here are six principles to guide you through the process. Commit to never complaining, criticizing, or playing the victim. Imagine a creative, positive future for yourself. Don't regret the past. It no longer exists. Be present in every situation as it occurs. Be independent of other people's criticism or approval. Be responsive to feedback. It is fair to say that hardly anyone hits upon these principles by trial and error or through experience of life. A person can live a long time without paying attention to emotional intelligence, and among men, the word “emotion” too often connotes something undesirable, as if showing emotional sensitivity is a sign of weakness. But emotional intelligence is gender neutral. The fact that humans can observe their emotions is a remarkable trait, and once you begin to observe your own emotions, you can counter the power of an unwanted emotion like fear and anxiety. Whether we admit it or not, emotions fascinate us, as Hollywood well knows. Empathizing with emotions onscreen is easy and pleasurable, but we are too attached to our own emotions, and it takes very little experience of anxiety, humiliation, rejection, and failure to train us to avoid the mine field of emotions in general. So it’s worth saying that developing emotional intelligence isn’t scary or difficult. All you need to do is notice and pay attention. By pausing and standing back a little, you can observe how you are reacting at any given moment. You can even turn the six principles into questions posed to yourself. Am I complaining, criticizing, or playing the victim? Do I see my future in a creative, positive way? Am I pointlessly reliving the past? Do I see what’s going on right now? Am I afraid of someone else’s criticism or craving their approval? Am I listening to what other people are trying to tell me? These are not mysterious or metaphysical questions. We can pause to ask them any time we want, and we should. But we are blocked by old conditioning and the habit of feeling uneasy about our emotions. There is a great deal of social pressure to behave with very low emotional intelligence, a kind of dumbing down on the feeling level. As a result we act in self-defeating ways. To give a few examples, We repeat the same reactions in most situations. We imitate how others behave, starting with our family. We act on impulse without a second thought. We don’t really see how others are reacting to us. We let negative emotions like fear, anger, envy, and resentment have their way. We easily go into denial and seek outside distractions. A whole way of life is implied in these examples, and when collective fear mounts, as it is right now, people often have little or no idea how to escape. Denial and distraction simply become more intensified, and playing the victim is more tempting than usual. Alternatively, we tell ourselves that we need to stay in control more than ever. But what is needed isn’t emotional self-control but emotional resilience. Resilience is the most important single aspect of emotional intelligence. You allow your emotions to rise and fall naturally, without trying to stop or control them. Once an emotion has passed, you feel better, and you are able to return to a state of peace and calm. The opposite of emotional resilience is seen when people are stiff, reserved, bottled up inside, censorious, aloof, proud, or remote. In all of these cases past experience has made certain emotions unacceptable. The only way to deal with them is through avoidance. One is reminded of the adage that trees can be blown over by a storm while grasses bend without breaking. Because the mind by nature is restful, alert, quiet, and at peace, that state of balance is the basis for developing emotional intelligence. You need the experience of balance in order to return to it at will. The experience comes naturally to everyone unless it is thrown off by stress and crisis. Then it takes a bit of intervention on our part, through meditation preferably. Meditation no only returns the mind to its balanced state, but it also allows you to observe what is happening, to experience it directly, and to identify with the quiet state of mind. Ultimately, this is how fear can be escaped permanently. Meanwhile, everyone can benefit from lessening the anxiety being experienced all around us. Emotional intelligence goes a very long way to expanding your awareness and making you free of stress and anxiety right now.
Ways to a restful night’s sleep
Ways to a restful night’s sleep A restful night’s sleep is a luxury for many. There are loads of sleep-inducing teas, pills and sprays, that I sometimes feel may have a placebo effect if they are natural. Charmaine D’Souza’s mix for sleep works best for me. Try and stay away from sleep medication as much as possible, they are highly addictive. Early dinners at least four hours before bedtime can improve UR sleep quality and avoid indigestion, stomach cramps and bloating. Indigestion causes a lot of sleep disturbances. Flatulence while sleeping can be uncomfortable, embarrassing and can take a toll on UR sex life. Stretching & Relaxing post a hectic day sounds great but difficult to achieve. Do something that doesn’t stimulate UR mind, this includes all digital communication. If talking to people relaxes you then put them on speaker and lock the phone so you don’t see the blue light. Stretch every part of UR body if possible before sleeping. Exercising regularly reduces insomnia, mental stress, releases endorphins and regulates UR body temperature. Make sure you avoid strenuous exercise 2 to 3 hours before bedtime, however a very famous actor told me that he walks for 30 minutes post dinner to help the digestion process. Reduce fluid intake post 6pm. It’s not worth drinking tea, coffee or sugary substances post 6 pm. 80% of UR water consumption for the day must be complete by 6pm. This helps avoiding unnecessary pee breaks in the middle of UR sleep. Keep UR bedroom clean and linen smelling fresh and you will automatically feel relaxed and comfortable. I like to freeze the room, but my partner prefers the fan. Nevertheless, we both love clean smelling linen and make sure we burn camphor and sage in our rooms to remove negativity. Our spaces have to be clean and our bed side tables have to clutter free. It’s a rule.
Managing A Heavy Workload With Motivation
If you feel you are overloaded with work and have heaps of tasks to complete, keep in mind that there are a few individuals in your team or at your workplace who would be happy to go beyond their job descriptions, so before you complain about a workload stop and try to be your driving force. It is instances such as these that demand you adopt the Happy A.X.E principle to proceed with deeper self-introspection over priorities. Therefore go ahead and make the most of the Happy A.X.E rule to stay motivated and upbeat about your work! And remember, a positive and optimistic outlook can go a long way! A-Access Vs. Excess Time On Your Hands Are you under stress because you have less time to access the work, or excess work needs to be done at the earliest? Besides the push from your reporting manager, are there other factors causing stress? Try to identify them and cut them down one by one. Remember, you are giving your best to bring positive results but be open to constructive criticism later. Convincing yourself to unload the work pressure is the first step to feel motivated. X-Xerox The Exact Idea Vs. Apply The Advice Are you open to seeking help from others during this period? One of your colleagues or seniors might have been in a similar situation earlier. So there is nothing wrong with asking for help but see to it that it does not turn into asking for favours. You may implement their advice in your work and seek further help later with their permission. Also, don’t forget that making peace with the people around is essential to help you stay motivated while being honest with your work. Present Vs. Living In The Future When was the last time you enjoyed working overtime? Compare and assess the efforts that you put in during those days with the present work. Give yourself two realistic self-deadlines and work with proper dedication, keeping all distractions away. This will help you feel comfortable while you give your hundred per cent, regardless of the pressure. Working in a high-stress environment is different from working with highly stressed individuals. Engaging yourself and your team through outbound training sessions with the help of professional transformational training experts can help you prevent such instances in the future as the team members do not just take a break but give a break to each other holistically. The team’s abilities are also improved, and leadership qualities are enhanced. What’s more, personal conflicts or intragroup conflicts too are resolved, and communication skills are boosted, leading to better bonding and collaboration. You may be giving your best to bring positive results but convincing yourself to unload the work pressure is the first step to feel motivated. Even though you want to be motivated and inspired to complete all of your tasks, there may be times when you may not feel any motivation at all. There’s also no denying that sometimes, motivation is hard to get hold of. Staring at our screens and simply not being able to get through the work, no matter how hard we try, is an instance we can all relate to. At times like these, you have to get your act together and look for real and practical solutions to be able to get the job done and also inspire yourself. Fortunately, there are certain tricks and tips to help you get motivated in no time at all! Stay Motivated And Upbeat About Your Work Stop thinking of the work as hard and consider it as something that is propelling you towards what you want to be. Envision the task is already completed and also think about how good that would make you feel! Chasing a big goal can be scary at times, as you may not know where to begin! So it’s best to break your goals down into small bite-size goals so that each time you make some progress, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and will be motivated to continue. When you need to complete a task, you will probably not think about doing anything else or for that matter, pick up a book and read! But reading can help you find the motivation you are lacking! Additionally, it’s a profoundly inspiring habit to acquire. Moreover, when you have a deadline to reach, ignore all irrelevant activities and forge ahead to complete your unfinished work by getting rid of anything that wastes your time and always sticks to the activities that apply to a larger goal. Some of the other natural ways to find motivation are to allow yourself some downtime and once refreshed, dive into your task again. Also, remember to celebrate your small wins and reward yourself for staying motivated and on top of things!
Buddha Purnima – Birth of An Enlightened Lord!
The birth anniversary of Gautam Buddha is an auspicious day, celebrated as Buddh Purnima. This is one of the most auspicious full moon days as it marks as the birth anniversary of Prince Siddhartha. He later became Gautam Buddha, the founder of Buddhism. In Theravada Buddhism, it is observed as the birthday of Prince Siddhartha Gautama (c. 563-483 BCE) attained Nirvana (salvation) under the Mahabodhi tree at Bodh Gaya, Bihar, as well as his death anniversary. It is a significant festival celebrated with enthusiasm in countries like India, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bhutan, Burma, Thailand, Tibet, China, Korea, Laos, Vietnam, Mongolia, Cambodia, Singapore and Indonesia. On this day, the devotees visit temples, light candles and incense sticks, pray and offer sweets and fruits before the statue of Lord Buddha. In the prayer meeting world over, sermons on his life and teachings are done for the devotees. Devotees distribute kheer (milk porridge) in memory of Buddha, as a woman had offered the Lord the same on this day. Here are five Gautam Buddha's teachings that you can use in your daily life: "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you." "If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way." "Learn this from water: loud splashes the brook but the ocean's depth are calm." "The past is already gone; the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live." "The trouble is, you think you have time." It is believed that in the evening of Buddha Purnima, the energies around us are potent. Hence, it is the perfect time to perform rituals to get rid of all the negativity, old patterns, addictions and any negative emotions that do not serve any purpose anymore. Buddha Purnima Special Ritual • Take some time and write on a paper about your habits, person or situations that you wish to release and heal. • At late evening or night time take a shower or rinse your hands, feet and face and wear fresh clothes. • Sit on a mat outdoors or anywhere in your home where you can feel moon energies. • Burn incense sticks and place a bowl of water next to you. Take a few breaths and chant this mantra for five times: Buddham Sharanam Gacchami Sangham Sharanam Gacchami Dhammam Sharanam Gacchami • After you are done with it, say: "Dear Lord Buddha and Moon God, please bless me on this auspicious day to release everything that no longer serves me." • Now read out the list couple of times that you had prepared to release and heal. • After that, visualise each of those habits, person or situations getting released and healed. While doing meditation slowly chant… I RELEASE all negativity attached to my body, mind, soul, and aura from across lives, space, dimension, and times. I RELEASE all the blockages that hinders my growth and progress from body, mind, soul and aura; across lives, space, dimension, and times. I RELEASE all karmic vows and promises I might have taken intentionally or unintentionally which blocks me from achieving my goals and happy life from my mind, body, soul, and aura across lives, space, dimension, and times. I RELEASE all the curses I am carrying since across lives, space, dimension, and times from my mind, body, soul, and aura. I RELEASE all the buried anger, negative emotions, financial blockages, and addictions from my mind, body, soul, and aura across lives, space, dimension, and times. I RELEASE all unpleasant and negative memories from each of my cells, mind, body, soul, and aura across lives, space, dimension, and times. I RELEASE and cut all cords from all aspect of my life that does not serve me anymore, that creates blockages and drains me off my energy from my mind, body, soul, and aura across lives, space, dimension, and times. End with saying thank you, thank you, thank you! Open your eyes gently and feel blessed!
5 Tips To Strengthen UR Familial Bonds
'Blood is thicker than water', an ancient proverb tells it all about familial bonds. Families may have their problems and jealousies, but in times of dire need, you are better off having a family member on standby. There are various kinds of relationships and friendship is an important one. As per the Oxford dictionary, friendship is defined as a 'relationship between two people who hold mutual affection for each other'. If you happen to have a family member who is also a close friend, you have the best of everything. However, if there is consistent reciprocity, understanding, compassion and honesty, an acquaintanceship can turn into friendship. The conversion is more likely when one experiences a level of comfort in the company of the other to be himself and express fearlessly. Age is no bar to form a relationship. A good relationship is like a fuel that strengthens our health, mind and connections with others. On the other hand, if the relationship isn't working, it can drain a person physically and emotionally. Seeking professional help may include individual therapy to raise emotional awareness and assertiveness, or couple and family sessions to help tidy the unattended issues. Seeking help, in my opinion, is a sign of strength, not weakness. 01 Communicate Effectively Remember the key to a healthy relationship is effective communication. The fundamental of excellent communication is to listen more and talk less. This will leave the other feeling valued. It's wise to accept the views of others without feeling challenged or threatened. Speak calmly without losing composure or unduly asserting UR thoughts. 02 Choose Humanistic Contact Technological advances have connected us to people across the world but disconnected from those with and around us. I suggest you choose direct one to one contact over texting, email and clicking the 'like' button on Social Media. Personal engagement is always better than a digital one. Make sure you look into the person's eyes while speaking. U must pay attention as a mark of respect. 03 Leave No Loose Ends Ensure that any growing differences are attended promptly, especially in romantic relationships. Understand that relationships are dynamic, therefore warrant a proactive response to change. Loose ends in relationship matters enhance emotional burden and bury the core issue. 04 Accept And Adapt Queen Elizabeth allegedly stated 'grief is the price we pay for love'. Which means we need to accept some loss if we want to love. It is essential to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship and nothing is permanent. Relationship breakdowns should not be seen as rejection or failure which can drive withdrawal, agitation, depression and even suicidal behaviour. For a lasting relationship, ongoing investment is the key. Learn to temper UR attachment and let go of the relationship when it isn't working. Make sure you give it UR best shot before breaking relationships as once the damage is done, it’s very hard to be rectified. 05 Allow Space, Invest More And Expect Less Insecurity breeds possessiveness and a claustrophobic feeling. Therefore allow space in UR relationship, have basic trust and avoid undue involvement. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more returns you can get back. All that is required is patience and consistency. When you expect nothing, you always get more. Stay Happy and Learn to Live to the fullest. Spread Positivity and try UR best to Strengthen Family Ties.
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5 Ways To Calm UR Mind During Stressful Times
Life throws chaos at us on a regular basis—from finances to our relationships and health. The latest chaos that has gripped the world is the novel coronavirus. The world has been dealing with the COVID-19 for almost five months now and there has been no end to it. While many of us have been working from home to meet the targets; stress kicks in many ways to push us back. In response to that, we try to survive on our adrenaline. Overworking, drinking another cup of coffee; we respond to the emails and get the work done. We think that if we stay up and work, we get things done. But all it does is that it burns us out, drain our productivity, and lead to exhaustion. Coping with stress To relieve stress, it is important to come up with a strategy to relax your mind and body. Here are the five quick and easy ways to regain calmness so that you can deal with different situations. 1. Take a Walk Exercise can be a great stress reliever. Exercising releases the feel-good hormone called endorphins. Walking brings the stress levels down and also helps you gain short-term and long term benefits like increase fitness of heart, stronger bones and improved balance. Walking will also help you get off work and return to it in a new frame of mind which is optimistic and determined. 2. Take a Breath Breathing exercises are a great way to instant calm URself. More oxygen into UR body means that you will feel a calm state. It also releases the physical tension that’s gripping you. And the fun part about this exercise is that you can do them anytime or anywhere. 3. Take a Mental Break If you want to restore UR peace of mind, then visualizations and guided imagery are a wonderful way to do it. Just close UR eyes and imagine scenery or a place that calms you down. It can help you in relaxing both physically and mentally. With practice, you will be able to access your "happy place" and quickly feel relaxed when stressed. 4. Reframe Your Situation We tend to maximise our stress just by the way we perceive them. One way to deal with situations and the arising stress out of them is to look at them differently. Put a different perspective to it and see how it changes UR situation. Pessimism and other self-sabotaging thought patterns are meant to cause stress and problem, but if you change the way you look at problems, it'll come in handy when you're stressed. 5. Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a technique in which you tense and release all of UR muscle groups, leaving your body more relaxed in the process. PMR is a great technique that can be practised by anyone. With continuous practice and use, you can fully release the tensions that are gripping you in a matter of seconds.
5 Fab Father’s Day Gift Ideas
The boundless energy and the unconditional love father’s exhibit, compel every child to follow their footsteps in the hope of learning something new each time. While fathers seem like dominating characters at home, the fact is they are softest at heart. Their patience and perseverance make every little thing possible for the happiness of their children and their family. It’s sometimes perplexing and challenging to understand from where this energy and optimism comes from. We all can agree that this relation can’t be appreciated in one day. But, we can take time out to show our father what he really means to us. So, don’t fret. We’ve made the perfect father’s day gift guide for you this Father’s Day! Grooming Gift Set A set of essential skincare products like face wash, scrub, trimmer and hair serum is a perfect way to pamper UR dad. Social media is full of ideas on the perfect ensemble of products and how to use them. Before purchasing any products do consult UR family doctor. Fitness tracker It is fit for a father who is considerate of his health. UR dad can enjoy his workout sessions without breaking a sweat over the cost. In simple terms, this is a gift of health to UR dad, who works tirelessly, day-in and out. A Dose Of Nostalgia Revive his most cherished moments of the past. A collage of vintage photos of his childhood or arranging a conference call with friends should do the trick. Think of any such activities that you know for sure will make him smile. The old school way Build a fort, make a personalised family tree or play some self-invented games with UR father. Take him down the memory lane of his childhood and how he used to have fun without many screens around. Gift vouchers They are an ideal present to gift UR dad. If he really likes a particular store or brand. This way, no one has to bear a loss or compromise, he can utilise the gift card whenever he wants to And purchase an item of his liking.
The Virus Can Give Your Life More Meaning
Originally published in The San Francisco Gate One way to respond in a crisis is to reduce its threat. The other way is to add to the threat. The coronavirus COVID-19 might be the first collective crisis that many people have faced, and it poses an uncertain future in every country that confronts it. But this doesn’t change the two choices just mentioned. Know that your individual actions will have an impact on countless other people. No matter how the COVID-19 pandemic resolves itself—something no one can predict—you can personally choose right now to reduce its threat. If you consciously make that choice, three positive things will happen. You will feel more in control; you will be on the side of healing, and you will add to the meaning of your life. How to be more in control This begins by acting responsibly, following what the experts in disease control advise. By now everyone is aware of the need to stay at home, self-quarantine if you show any symptoms, keep 6 to 10 ft. away from other people in public, don’t take long plane flights, and wash your hands frequently (the medical school routine for scrubbing up applies here: Wash your hands vigorously while singing “Happy birthday to you” twice—and don’t forget your thumbs and between your fingers). The active ingredient in effective hand sanitizers is isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol, which you can also use by itself in at least a 60% solution with water. This is all useful advice, but it doesn’t address where being in control comes from, which is mental. Positive thinking isn’t enough. Feeling safe and secure is a state of awareness. It exists in us when we reach deeper than the everyday self. The everyday self cannot feel permanently safe. Outside forces loom too large and threatening. This is the time to take up meditation or return to it if you have lapsed. Your goal is to connect with your deeper awareness, the place where self-control and security comes from. The superficial part of everyone gets involved in a crisis by staying glued to the news, attaching itself to worst case scenarios, and dwelling on the terrible things other people are going through. None of this behavior puts you in control. It does just the opposite by fueling fear, uncertainty, and insecurity. Looking at updates once a day is more than enough. The rest of the time, remain centered in yourself and keep doing the sensible thing. How to be on the side of healing Bad things happen to everyone. It is how you react that determines whether you come out healed or wounded. In all of us, the healing response is natural, innate, and powerful. More than the immune system is involved. Healing is a mind-body process. If you are sad, stressed, depressed, anxious, helpless, hopeless, panicky, or feel out of control, every cell in your body gets that message. Therefore, do everything you can to send the opposite message. We’ve already mentioned meditation, which has a strong effect in restoring mind-body balance. But you also need to be vigilant on two other fronts: sleep and stress. Good, sound sleep maintains homeostasis and prevents a cascade of imbalances that can occur in hormones, for example. Stress is a powerful trigger for hormone imbalance, among other things. It has been linked to chronic inflammation, for example, which seems to be present in acute and chronic disease. Besides doing all you can to sleep well and reduce immediate stresses, there is vagal breathing, which has become widely publicized in recent years. Centered on stimulating the vagus nerve, which runs from the brain to heart, lungs, intestinal tract, and elsewhere. By breathing in to a count of four, holding your breath for a short pause, and breathing out to a count of four, you tell the vagus nerve that you are in a calm, balanced state. In response, it helps maintain mind-body balance. You can do more to be on the side of healing by following the positive lifestyle choices you already know are good for you in terms of a healthy diet and avoiding or greatly minimizing alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. The good things you are doing contribute to boosting your immune response, or at the very least doing your best to keep it from being compromised. So far as anyone knows, the victims of COVID-19 are most likely to be immune-compromised. If you aren’t, your risks seem to be drastically lowered. How to give your life more meaning This is the most positive thing you can get out of the COVID-19 crisis and yet the least discussed. Life becomes more meaningful when you feel you have purpose, when you give of yourself in service, when you find resources of strength and resilience inside yourself, and when you discover who you really are. No virus can deprive your life of meaning unless you allow it to. Conversely, a virus won’t add to the meaning of your life. Viruses have no motive except self-preservation and replication. All of us have the same instincts; they are built into our evolutionary past. But where human evolution excels is at the level of consciousness that goes beyond instinct, into the realms of empathy and self-awareness. The expert medical advice that now surrounds us should be heeded, of course, but it falls short when it comes to meaningful change. Will you come out of this crisis feeling stronger, more resilient, and with more purpose? We’re not talking about putting yourself more at risk of getting sick, which is foolhardy. Instead, you can be strong for others. You can be the source of nurturing and optimism when others feel afraid and insecure. You can empathize with how someone else feels and lend your support. Where there are personal barriers of class, age, race, and income, you can be the one who lowers the barrier to reach out. Yet ultimately the greatest meaning will not arrive until the world feels safer. Then the temptation will be to go back to the status quo, to return to normal by putting COVID-19 out of our minds. That would be a tragic loss of opportunity. During times of crisis, we naturally take time to appreciate what we have and place a greater priority on what is most important to us. The question is how to carry this on after the crisis of COVID-19 passes. The global mind must solve many problems, from climate change to over-population, refugees, and hostile nationalism. How the world deals with the COVID-19 pandemic offers a clue to how every other problem will be confronted. Your life will be more meaningful if you contribute to meaningful solutions that reach far, far beyond the rampage of this virus. Everything, including being in control and being a healer, is wrapped up in that. DEEPAK CHOPRA MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation, a non-profit entity for research on well-being and humanitarianism, and Chopra Global, a modern-day health company at the intersection of science and spirituality, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation. Chopra is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of California, San Diego and serves as a senior scientist with Gallup Organization. He is the author of over 89 books translated into over forty-three languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. Chopra is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of California, San Diego and serves as a senior scientist with Gallup Organization. His 90th book, Metahuman: Unleashing Your Infinite Potential, unlocks the secrets to moving beyond our present limitations to access a field of infinite possibilities. TIME magazine has described Dr. Chopra as “one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century.” Dr. Rudolph E. Tanzi is the Kennedy Professor of Neurology at Harvard Medical School and Co-Director of the McCance Center for Brain Health at MGH. Dr. Tanzi has discovered numerous Alzheimer’s disease genes, including the first one, and is developing new Alzheimer’s therapies using human mini-brains pioneered in his laboratory. Dr. Tanzi has published 600 research papers, received numerous awards and was on the 2015 TIME100 Most Influential People in the World list. He has also co-authored several books, including “Decoding Darkness” and three bestsellers with Deepak Chopra: “Super Brain”, “Super Genes”, and “The Healing Self”. In his spare time, he plays keyboards with guitarist, Joe Perry of Aerosmith and other musicians.
5 Uncomfortable Topics To Be Avoided At Family Gatherings
What do we all crave? What is that one thing that enables us to feel good about ourselves? Indeed, it is a relationship with our family, friends or work colleagues. It's a very healthy craving! The need to belong is a deep-seated psychological impulse. The Human is social by nature. We are inherently programmed to form relationships right from our inception into this world. Healthy attachment with parents and family establishes a lifelong skill of building and maintaining relationships. The consistency of relationships enables us to relate to this world, develop coping mechanisms and feel secure. A stable secure upbringing can enhance emotional development as well as build a reserve for active coping. In other words, it leads to the development of our personality, identity and sense of self. On the other hand, fragmented formative years can make us fragile and isolative. When relationship difficulties seem irremediable, seek professional help without delay. Getting an independent, objective and unbiased input from an expert can mean timely advice and support at any age. UR current state of unknown unhappiness may have strong roots in the past. Stay away form unnecessary topics that can have a deep impact on loved ones. Keep gathering light and jovial. If you have a pressing concern, address it one on one in private at a scheduled time of convenience for both. 01 Politics In a world of information overload, bias and inclinations to political views are invariable. With social media being the most significant source of misinformation and fakery, it is all too common to see hatred and arguments at family gatherings & what's app groups. There will always be that one annoying aunt, uncle or cousin who will disagree and end up wanting to fight or argue. Spare yourself the grief and do not wander into the treacherous arena of politics amongst UR relatives. Respect people’s views and lend them a hearing ear if you have to. It’s best not to indulge or express UR opinion on this topic. 02 Parenting Techniques Everyone is entitled to their own parenting techniques. It depends on various factors including geographic and socio-cultural context. There are no 'one size fits all' parenting strategy. It's not UR business to provide unsolicited advice (especially relatives) on ways to parent, even if you disapprove of how they run things. Do not indulge in idle gossip on parenting skills. Only if asked, answer in private. This is not the time to show off UR badges, the repercussions can sometimes lead to hiding UR face as well. 03 Finances This one is a strict NO, especially if you've several different relatives that in Business or especially the family business. The irony of this is that, you may end up getting expert advice from even those relative who has mismanaged funds! It gets absolutely annoying when comparisons are made on investments and savings! Try not to indulge in over dressing or pomp and show at family gatherings. Let UR hospitality and personality speak volumes rather than wealth and belongings. 04 Religious Ideologies In an ideal society, there is no better way to showcase UR faith and religious beliefs than in intellectual conversations. The possibility of putting forth the idea of exploring another faith that you didn't grow up flowing is enough to make people insecure and threatened. This in turn, makes you vulnerable. Keep Ur beliefs to yourself and practice what you would like to preach. Forcing people to follow UR ideologies can become overwhelming. Share personal experiences but don’t become a gyaan guru. 05 Relationship Status Some things are personal and best discussed discretely rather than in a living room of gathered relatives. UR extended family doesn't need to know anything about UR dating life until you're committed, engaged, planning to get married. Gone are the days of the nosy relatives prying into UR personal life. Digging up scoop works both ways, make a wise choice before you comment on any persons relationship status.
